Wednesday, May 19, 2010

On my mind

Maybe I should have titled this "Helllllllooooo baby fever"!  Now that we've celebrated our first wedding anniversary, we've had some discussions as to where we stand on starting our family.  We're at a crossroads and treading lightly.  

First off, I feel like every other woman I see on the street is pregnant.  The other half, they've got the little ones/newborns with them.  Umm, hello I'm surrounded.  Yes, I know it's probably an exaggeration but I've realized whenever something is on my mind, I tend to notice it more frequently than normal  (like when we weren't engaged yet, I swore practically everyone else was engaged). 

Some people say wait before you have a baby, enjoy one another, you just got married, do some traveling.  There's also the 'ready' argument, you'll never be 100% ready, so I hope you're not waiting for that.  There are plenty more statements that I've heard.  I have an argument for and against each one that I could present, believe me.

There isn't really too much pressure from family, which is a plus.  Some members have asked if we're pregnant or when we'll be having a baby, but that's about it.  No subtle hints to deal with, no constant pressure.

I would love (love) to have a baby right now, but I keep asking myself is it the right time?  Are we making a mistake by waiting too long or starting too early?  Are we ready?  I'd like to have my children before I'm 30 (I'll be 27 in a matter of weeks).  So the numbers aren't working in my favor for more than one child (preferably spaced apart by some # of years) before 30.  Am I going to work afterwards?  Can we afford for one of us to stay home?  Can we afford to have a baby?  What will happen to our friendships (we're the only married couple)?  Will we be able to conceive?  Will we have trouble?  Will we be good parents?

Then there's the little things, like I'm in a wedding later this year and would prefer not to be showing.  (Sidenote:  Randomly the bride says, it's ok, we can use the fabric from shortening your dress to help fit your baby bump, I looked at her like she had 2 heads because I had definitely not mentioned it to her and she was like what?, it's fine, I wouldn't mind - I wasn't sure how to reply).  We have friends getting married at a destination wedding in March and we'd really like to go, but I don't think we would be able to if we were pregnant.  We'd like to go out to Tahoe skiing/snowboarding (we learned this year) next winter and to visit M (her and I will be hitting up the spa!).  Should we put having a family on hold for all of these things or just go for it and figure it out when it happens?

I only have a few people I would talk to this about, one's getting married (I'm in the wedding) and one's 'starting over' after a relationship and I'm so happy that she's doing wonderful, meeting new ppl and doing brand new things, I don't want to burden her (more than I have) with this.  KC and I have definitely talked about it, but I think he's at the same place as I am, maybe leaning a little in one direction as well.

While we've not actively practiced our faith lately (it's something I'd like to become more active in), I know that whatever the plan is for us we'll accept it and make it work.

Sooooo many questions, where to begin.  I'm too much of a planner not to worry about these kinds of things.  It's just something that's always on my mind lately, thanks for reading my ramblings.


  1. I am definitely in the same boat--we have so much we want to do first, but we really want kids!! How do you start making the decisions on weddings, vacations, achieving a certain career goal, paying of a certain debt, saving a certain amount of money and just make the leap??

  2. Hello! Visiting from New Friend Friday! Reading your post is like reading the minds of MANY young women ... mine included a few years ago! From a mom of a 14 month old and one on the way (and I'm 28) all I can say is whatever happens ... whenever it happens ... it will be right and wonderful and perfect. You can plan until you're blue in the face ... but ultimately its out of your control (although you can do your best to prepare). We planned the best "time" and ended up loosing the baby ... we saved money ... and ended up having thousands upon thousands of $$ in unexpected medical bills ... we were going to try for #2 "soon" and she/he's already on the way. :) But I wouldn't change anything because our life is perfect and we are blessed!

    Sorry for the world's longest comment ... just wanted to share what little wisdom I can. :)

    Best of luck and come visit my blog if you get a chance!

  3. I feel like I could have written this same blog verbatim. I think those same exact thoughts every day. Seems like your hubs is a bit more ready than mine is based on what you've written so I've got that going for me... or against me, at this point. I too would like at least one before I'm 30 (I'll be 27 in a few months) and I'd love to have one more on the way when I'm 30... he'd like to start when we're in our 30's... ugh! So much to think about! You're not alone though!


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